MY STORY

BEGINNING IN THE MUD

My own life path is truly a mirror of the journey of the Lotus from mud to light. 

Growing up in post-soviet Estonia, where the collective psyche and consciousness is scarred by the Soviet Union and prior occupations of at least eight centuries, I, like most others in my generation from this part of the world, grew up experiencing a lot of violence and abuse – physical, emotional, mental, energetic and even sexual. 

I have moved through deep layers of shame, distrust, severe disconnection from my own life path and light, deep dissociation from my body, extreme shyness, deep good girl programming, people-pleasing, complete lack of boundaries and lack of knowing how to protect my energy field, victimhood in its many shapes and forms, scarcity, weakness, fragility, dis-empowerment, lack of connection, deeply unstable nervous system, terrified inner child, lack of self-worth, loneliness, depression, anxiety, suppressed grief, very strong attachment wounds and even drug abuse.

Despite all of it, since I was a little girl, I was always a very idealistic person – one who truly believed that a world rooted in beauty, collaboration, common thriving, abundance and love is possible. I now know that this belief was not merely a dissociative survival mechanism that I had to make up to give myself something to hold onto in the midst of highly dysfunctional surroundings, but rather a remembrance of my soul’s mission here on Earth. 

I was always interested in everything mystical, esoteric and spiritual as well as arts and cultivation of beauty. Existence of the spirit realm was never a question for me. I was often labelled as ‘overly sensitive’ and in time, I also learned to mute my sensitivity as a survival mechanism due to violence and severe boundary crossing which was a baseline of my day-to-day. 

That led to my young adulthood years of drug abuse, depression, anxiety and major attachment wounds playing out in relationships, as well as a general feeling of loneliness and many other symptoms described above.


A CALL TO HERO'S JOURNEY

7 years ago, I woke up in the bed of my then very close friend after having been partying and taking drugs for days in a row. Without the feelings being reciprocated, I was in love with him. He had schizophrenia which perfectly mirrored the state of disconnection I experienced within myself. If I weren’t to mention where I come from, where I live, where I study and what I do for work, I simply did not know who I am beyond that. I didn’t know what made me happy, what brought me joy, what excited me, what I was interested in, what I dreamT of… I had even lost a sense of connection to my values. That morning, I realized that EVERYTHING in my life has to change. It brought me immense anxiety because I did not know where to start. 

A few weeks after, the opportunity opened to have my first mushroom ceremony. I did it by myself alone in my home, under a guidance of a dear friend. Still to this day I believe mushrooms saved me. For the first time ever, I started falling in love with myself, as I realized that this “Kertu” I am playing in this lifetime, with this body and unique characteristics I have been given, is the vessel through which my soul has come here to learn, create, experience, evolve, play and embody her mission. I was told to follow my excitement and to trust that this will lead me exactly where I need to go, and this has remained one of my core life strategies since.

After this mushroom journey, my life started re-aligning towards better. I quit my career in fashion and gradually started supporting conscious brands and spiritual entrepreneurs and ceremonialists in their healing business. I got involved with some conscious community organization projects. One door opened after another, and besides supporting these people with my practical skills, I started learning about the art of ceremonies, started opening up to spiritual realms on a whole new level and started meeting people aligned with my path.


GREETED BY THE PLANTS, BLESSED BY THE SPIRITS

Fast forward to 2020, I participated in my first Grandmother retreat – 7 years after I first heard about the medicine and immediately had a restful deep knowing in my bones that the day was going to come for me to sit with this plant. After these two first ceremonies I knew this was just the beginning of a very long relationship between me and the Grandmother. During the retreat, I wrote in my journal that I wished to travel to Peru and find a local maestro – to learn more about the plants, their traditions and sit in ceremonies in the jungle. 

Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined this to manifest only in four months. I had just quit my job because it was no longer healthy, and because the Grandmother had told me that I had to let go of this job because something big wanted to enter my life but had no space for it. I decided to leap into trust. I had no savings nor plan B. On top of that, I was asked to move out of my home that I had just moved into two months prior. Then the invitation arrived from a dear brother to accompany him into the Peruvian jungle for 2.5 months to support him with a documentary project, all costs paid. 

I ended up at a 2-month Initiation training into Ayahuasca and Shipibo Curanderismo, which included two daily lectures on ceremonial navigation and energy work, plant spirit communication, plant medicines and traditional remedies, Shipibo cosmovision, study of Icaros and more; 35 ceremonies all in all (after only having been to 2 before, 4 months prior!), other plant medicine treatments and two master plant dietas. Prior to going there, I was hoping to participate in a few ceremonies during my stay but to my biggest blessing ever, things went in a way that I was invited to be part of all of it.

My time in the jungle opened up my life path, and what I am here to do. When my connection with the plants activated, it felt like the biggest cosmic gift and blessing, a homecoming, graduation, initiation and celebration all at once. My coming had been anticipated for a long long time, and it had to manifest exactly there and then. I saw how my whole life had pointed me towards this. I was blessed by spirits, beyond what I ever ever ever could have imagined.


MEETING BLUE LOTUS

In the jungle, Blue Lotus also entered my field for the first time in this lifetime. The flower was first gifted to me by my other teacher plants and placed onto my ‘ethereal altar’ by them during a ceremony. Only a few days later, my first Blue Lotus teacher appeared at the same camp. During our conversation about Blue Lotus, I felt an ancient pull and curiosity unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I knew then and there that I wished to work with him as my mentor or guide into Blue Lotus mysteries at some point in the following years.

Ever since Blue Lotus came into my awareness in the jungle, the plant started working with me, teaching me and guiding me. I spent the first one and half years connecting with the Lotus without ever consuming the flower physically. The consciousness of the plant was already activated in my being.

During that time, I was enrolled in a 1-year embodiment training in De-Armouring and Sacred Spaceholding for Feminine Embodiment, working with re-wiring my nervous system and traumas at the root level, stepping more into my worth and true embodiment. I started giving bodywork sessions and on a continuous basis supported ceremonial plant medicine spaces, where I deepened into my studies with plants and energy work.

In July 2022, the same teacher I met in the jungle, travelled to Europe to guide a Blue Lotus dieta within the traditional Shipibo framework. I was selected as the receiver of a fully covered scholarship for this two-week initiation. This was the first time I physically ingested the Blue Lotus flower.

The dieta brought with it a lot of healing, activation and re-calibration of my energy field. My connection and soul contract across many lifetimes with the Blue Lotus flower was revealed. And like my teacher back then said – Blue Lotus had been calling me for much much longer than I have been aware of.

During my dieta, Blue Lotus once again invited me to become her devotee. A student and guardian of her mysteries, medicine and codes. Her human ally on Earth at this time, who through my human abilities and physical presence supports the plant to anchor and activate her light and healing on the planet at this time. I was given a choice whether or not I was ready and willing to accept this offer. I accepted and vowed to walk the path of the Lotus, and through my work and embodiment be a representative of Blue Lotus consciousness, gathering her devotees, spreading awareness and creating networks of Blue Lotus guardians around the world.


"WHEN THE STUDENT IS TRULY READY, THE TEACHER WILL DISAPPEAR - DEATH OF MY BLUE LOTUS MENTOR

In the beginning of 2024, I embarked on a deeply activating 1:1 Blue Lotus apprenticeship with a Blue Lotus priestess Angelina Knight. We had just completed our official teaching calls. I was in an open Blue Lotus dieta under her guidance the following week, when she and her eternal beloved, a Blue Lotus guardian and high initiate, Luciano, left the Earth plane together. They left blissfully sleeping hand in hand, when a landslide on Bali took their bodies back into the Mud as seeds for collective awakening, just as a Lotus flower. 

Their sudden departure deeply shocked their community all over the world, myself included. In Angelina I had found a soul sister in service, us united in our mission with Blue Lotus, carrying the codes of Lotus medicine in our service and through our embodiment. We were united in the mission of supporting those who are ready to remember their way back to light, guiding them through veils of forgetfulness back onto the throne of their soul, living in sacred reciprocity continuously expanding into love, developing energetic sovereignty, standing for justice and being in stewardship to Truth and that which is sacred. Allowing our work to be a prayer for collective healing and restoration of divine consciousness.

Angelina was my mentor and my “elder”, the person who saw me for who I was, who encouraged me and my work with Blue Lotus. Someone who deeply believed in me and what I am here to bring forth. For the first time in my life I experienced support of this caliber. Her death shook me to my core and the grief purified my prayer and intention with my work with Blue Lotus and in general onto a whole new dimension. 

This apprenticeship was the culmination of Angelina’s life’s work. I was the first and the only student of this apprenticeship, and the only one that received her Blue Lotus transmission in a format wholly dedicated to Blue Lotus. I believe that nothing is random and everything is connected. Her departure at such a particular time, felt as if she had now passed on the torch of a Blue Lotus priestess and guardian onwards to me. Both Angelina and Luciano very much keep guiding me to this day.


ME AND THE BLUE LOTUS - A SOUL LINEAGE THT TRANSCENDS LIFETIMES

My work with the Lotus is nothing I ever sought out or chose because it seemed interesting or trendy. My connection with this flower is not just a practice, it is a soul agreement and sacred contract that transcends lifetimes. 

I don’t just work with Blue Lotus, I live in embodied daily communion + interchange of information with her. Blue Lotus is my biggest teacher, guide + living intelligence of the purest light whose energetic essence is imbued into the fabric of my life, embodiment, prayers and service. 

I am not simply offering knowledge about this flower. I serve as a vessel for the essence of Blue Lotus + the frequency of Light to be remembered, re-activated and re-woven into the collective field. In other words -  I serve as an activator and bridge between her wisdom and those who are ready to receive her & be touched, activated and guided by the light that Blue Lotus embodies, on the path towards the blossoming of their highest timeline + service on Earth at this time, in conscious co-creation with the Divine and like-hearted beings. In the name of Life, Love and the highest good for the Earth and all sentient beings.

If these words resonate and you feel called by Blue Lotus and wish to be guided by me on this journey of awakening the wisdom and codes of this plant consciousness in your being, it would be my greatest honor and joy.

I am available for a structured 1:1 mentorship, as well as completely individualized support ranging from single sessions or ceremonies to longer mentorships and everything in between. Reach out to me, and we will together find a way that will be most supportive for you at this time.


With so much love and in deepest reverence,
Kertu

BEGINNING IN THE MUD

My own life path is truly a mirror of the journey of the Lotus from mud to light. 

Growing up in post-soviet Estonia, where the collective psyche and consciousness is scarred by the Soviet Union and prior occupations of at least eight centuries, I, like most others in my generation from this part of the world, grew up experiencing a lot of violence and abuse – physical, emotional, mental, energetic and even sexual. 

I have moved through deep layers of shame, distrust, severe disconnection from my own life path and light, deep dissociation from my body, extreme shyness, deep good girl programming, people-pleasing, complete lack of boundaries and lack of knowing how to protect my energy field, victimhood in its many shapes and forms, scarcity, weakness, fragility, dis-empowerment, lack of connection, deeply unstable nervous system, terrified inner child, lack of self-worth, loneliness, depression, anxiety, suppressed grief, very strong attachment wounds and even drug abuse.

Despite all of it, since I was a little girl, I was always a very idealistic person – one who truly believed that a world rooted in beauty, collaboration, common thriving, abundance and love is possible. I now know that this belief was not merely a dissociative survival mechanism that I had to make up to give myself something to hold onto in the midst of highly dysfunctional surroundings, but rather a remembrance of my soul’s mission here on Earth. 

I was always interested in everything mystical, esoteric and spiritual as well as arts and cultivation of beauty. Existence of the spirit realm was never a question for me. I was often labelled as ‘overly sensitive’ and in time, I also learned to mute my sensitivity as a survival mechanism due to violence and severe boundary crossing which was a baseline of my day-to-day. 

That led to my young adulthood years of drug abuse, depression, anxiety and major attachment wounds playing out in relationships, as well as a general feeling of loneliness and many other symptoms described above.

My name is Kertu. i was born and raised in the magical lands of Estonia, and have been based in denmark for the past 10 years. i am a ceremonial body & energy worker, student of master plants, water and mysticism; a soul midwife, Blue Lotus priestess and a guardian, guide and mentor of her mysteries. 

A CALL TO HERO'S JOURNEY

7 years ago, I woke up in the bed of my then very close friend after having been partying and taking drugs for days in a row. Without the feelings being reciprocated, I was in love with him. He had schizophrenia which perfectly mirrored the state of disconnection I experienced within myself. If I weren’t to mention where I come from, where I live, where I study and what I do for work, I simply did not know who I am beyond that. I didn’t know what made me happy, what brought me joy, what excited me, what I was interested in, what I dreamT of… I had even lost a sense of connection to my values. That morning, I realized that EVERYTHING in my life has to change. It brought me immense anxiety because I did not know where to start. 

A few weeks after, the opportunity opened to have my first mushroom ceremony. I did it by myself alone in my home, under a guidance of a dear friend. Still to this day I believe mushrooms saved me. For the first time ever, I started falling in love with myself, as I realized that this “Kertu” I am playing in this lifetime, with this body and unique characteristics I have been given, is the vessel through which my soul has come here to learn, create, experience, evolve, play and embody her mission. I was told to follow my excitement and to trust that this will lead me exactly where I need to go, and this has remained one of my core life strategies since.

After this mushroom journey, my life started re-aligning towards better. I quit my career in fashion and gradually started supporting conscious brands and spiritual entrepreneurs and ceremonialists in their healing business. I got involved with some conscious community organization projects. One door opened after another, and besides supporting these people with my practical skills, I started learning about the art of ceremonies, started opening up to spiritual realms on a whole new level and started meeting people aligned with my path.

GREETED BY THE PLANTS, BLESSED BY THE SPIRITS

Fast forward to 2020, I participated in my first Grandmother retreat – 7 years after I first heard about the medicine and immediately had a restful deep knowing in my bones that the day was going to come for me to sit with this plant. After these two first ceremonies I knew this was just the beginning of a very long relationship between me and the Grandmother. During the retreat, I wrote in my journal that I wished to travel to Peru and find a local maestro – to learn more about the plants, their traditions and sit in ceremonies in the jungle. 

Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined this to manifest only in four months. I had just quit my job because it was no longer healthy, and because the Grandmother had told me that I had to let go of this job because something big wanted to enter my life but had no space for it. I decided to leap into trust. I had no savings nor plan B. On top of that, I was asked to move out of my home that I had just moved into two months prior. Then the invitation arrived from a dear brother to accompany him into the Peruvian jungle for 2.5 months to support him with a documentary project, all costs paid. 

I ended up at a 2-month Initiation training into Ayahuasca and Shipibo Curanderismo, which included two daily lectures on ceremonial navigation and energy work, plant spirit communication, plant medicines and traditional remedies, Shipibo cosmovision, study of Icaros and more; 35 ceremonies all in all (after only having been to 2 before, 4 months prior!), other plant medicine treatments and two master plant dietas. Prior to going there, I was hoping to participate in a few ceremonies during my stay but to my biggest blessing ever, things went in a way that I was invited to be part of all of it.

My time in the jungle opened up my life path, and what I am here to do. When my connection with the plants activated, it felt like the biggest cosmic gift and blessing, a homecoming, graduation, initiation and celebration all at once. My coming had been anticipated for a long long time, and it had to manifest exactly there and then. I saw how my whole life had pointed me towards this. I was blessed by spirits, beyond what I ever ever ever could have imagined.

"WHEN THE STUDENT IS TRULY READY, THE TEACHER WILL DISAPPEAR - DEATH OF MY BLUE LOTUS MENTOR

In the beginning of 2024, I embarked on a deeply activating 1:1 Blue Lotus apprenticeship with a Blue Lotus priestess Angelina Knight. We had just completed our official teaching calls. I was in an open Blue Lotus dieta under her guidance the following week, when she and her eternal beloved, a Blue Lotus guardian and high initiate, Luciano, left the Earth plane together. They left blissfully sleeping hand in hand, when a landslide on Bali took their bodies back into the Mud as seeds for collective awakening, just as a Lotus flower. 

Their sudden departure deeply shocked their community all over the world, myself included. In Angelina I had found a soul sister in service, us united in our mission with Blue Lotus, carrying the codes of Lotus medicine in our service and through our embodiment. We were united in the mission of supporting those who are ready to remember their way back to light, guiding them through veils of forgetfulness back onto the throne of their soul, living in sacred reciprocity continuously expanding into love, developing energetic sovereignty, standing for justice and being in stewardship to Truth and that which is sacred. Allowing our work to be a prayer for collective healing and restoration of divine consciousness.

Angelina was my mentor and my “elder”, the person who saw me for who I was, who encouraged me and my work with Blue Lotus. Someone who deeply believed in me and what I am here to bring forth. For the first time in my life I experienced support of this caliber. Her death shook me to my core and the grief purified my prayer and intention with my work with Blue Lotus and in general onto a whole new dimension. 

This apprenticeship was the culmination of Angelina’s life’s work. I was the first and the only student of this apprenticeship, and the only one that received her Blue Lotus transmission in a format wholly dedicated to Blue Lotus. I believe that nothing is random and everything is connected. Her departure at such a particular time, felt as if she had now passed on the torch of a Blue Lotus priestess and guardian onwards to me. Both Angelina and Luciano very much keep guiding me to this day.

MEETING BLUE LOTUS

In the jungle, Blue Lotus also entered my field for the first time in this lifetime. The flower was first gifted to me by my other teacher plants and placed onto my ‘ethereal altar’ by them during a ceremony. Only a few days later, my first Blue Lotus teacher appeared at the same camp. During our conversation about Blue Lotus, I felt an ancient pull and curiosity unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I knew then and there that I wished to work with him as my mentor or guide into Blue Lotus mysteries at some point in the following years.

Ever since Blue Lotus came into my awareness in the jungle, the plant started working with me, teaching me and guiding me. I spent the first one and half years connecting with the Lotus without ever consuming the flower physically. The consciousness of the plant was already activated in my being.

During that time, I was enrolled in a 1-year embodiment training in De-Armouring and Sacred Spaceholding for Feminine Embodiment, working with re-wiring my nervous system and traumas at the root level, stepping more into my worth and true embodiment. I started giving bodywork sessions and on a continuous basis supported ceremonial plant medicine spaces, where I deepened into my studies with plants and energy work.

In July 2022, the same teacher I met in the jungle, travelled to Europe to guide a Blue Lotus dieta within the traditional Shipibo framework. I was selected as the receiver of a fully covered scholarship for this two-week initiation. This was the first time I physically ingested the Blue Lotus flower.

The dieta brought with it a lot of healing, activation and re-calibration of my energy field. My connection and soul contract across many lifetimes with the Blue Lotus flower was revealed. And like my teacher back then said – Blue Lotus had been calling me for much much longer than I have been aware of.

During my dieta, Blue Lotus once again invited me to become her devotee. A student and guardian of her mysteries, medicine and codes. Her human ally on Earth at this time, who through my human abilities and physical presence supports the plant to anchor and activate her light and healing on the planet at this time. I was given a choice whether or not I was ready and willing to accept this offer. I accepted and vowed to walk the path of the Lotus, and through my work and embodiment be a representative of Blue Lotus consciousness, gathering her devotees, spreading awareness and creating networks of Blue Lotus guardians around the world.

ME AND THE BLUE LOTUS - A SOUL LINEAGE THT TRANSCENDS LIFETIMES

My work with the Lotus is nothing I ever sought out or chose because it seemed interesting or trendy. My connection with this flower is not just a practice, it is a soul agreement and sacred contract that transcends lifetimes. 

I don’t just work with Blue Lotus, I live in embodied daily communion + interchange of information with her. Blue Lotus is my biggest teacher, guide + living intelligence of the purest light whose energetic essence is imbued into the fabric of my life, embodiment, prayers and service. 

I am not simply offering knowledge about this flower. I serve as a vessel for the essence of Blue Lotus + the frequency of Light to be remembered, re-activated and re-woven into the collective field. In other words - I serve as an activator and bridge between her wisdom and those who are ready to receive her & be touched, activated and guided by the light that Blue Lotus embodies, on the path towards the blossoming of their highest timeline + service on Earth at this time, in conscious co-creation with the Divine and like-hearted beings. In the name of Life, Love and the highest good for the Earth and all sentient beings.

If these words resonate and you feel called by Blue Lotus and wish to be guided by me on this journey of awakening the wisdom and codes of this plant consciousness in your being, it would be my greatest honor and joy.

I am available for a structured 1:1 mentorship, as well as completely individualized support ranging from single sessions or ceremonies to longer mentorships and everything in between. Reach out to me, and we will together find a way that will be most supportive for you at this time.


With so much love and in deepest reverence,
Kertu